hello all

i am so excited about leaving for vacation in a 6 days.  i miss the beach so much.  and my natural color tan (that....left me over the winter...strangely enough). 

i went to lmh's dedication on friday.  mrs. banks was so happy to see me, which made my day.  i didn't see many from my class. 

i started nannying for a family.  the 7 yr old boy is sweet, the 5 yr old boy is a brat.  i think he thinks i'm a hired servant, cuz he constantly throws around phrases such as "Get me a soda!" or "Follow me!"...grrr...o well, i need the money.

life goes on...quickly, i might add. 

i was so stressed with NOT having a plan to follow, and now that i have one, i'm even more stressed. 

i am extremely fearful of the unknown.  and lately i have noticed what high expectations people have for me...which makes things tougher.  i have a million people telling me i'll survive, i'll find my niche at college...will i?  i don't have that inborn ability to adapt and become comfortable with change.  and as much as i'd like to beleive i have improved, i am still anti-social.  actually...i think i'm just chronically shy.  really!  i wouldn't be surprised if there is a long scientific name for my social condition! 

there will be a few familiar faces here and there, but they will have already created their groups.  transferring sucks!  but i think i needed a transition period...maybe i'm not ready to be done with it. 

toooo many decisions... 

Everything is a BLUR! 

In the past week, I have decided after visiting Eastern on monday that I will be starting there in the Fall (if i'm excepted) and I have decided to give up all my ideas of getting a degree that will make me rich like...say chemistry, and get a degree that will make me happy AKA music.  I'm through with community college! 

I'm hoping i can survive dorming when i finally have to take that step.  i want to get rid of my anti-socialness FAST and...basically...i have to to survive. 

what else is new...o yes, i dropped my new phone (as in...the cell i bought a couple months ago) in green tea! whoever said having a cup of tea was relaxing NEVER dropped their cell in it...so i have to buy a new phone. 

Before the summer is over, I need to:  finish applying to eastern and get accepted, get my nannying job, lose at least 10 more pounds, sign up for classes, and build up my savings account.....among other things....

Finals this week then FREEDOM for the summer!...it would be nice if i knew what to do next year. 

Rest In Peace, Grandpa.

aw...john, jackie, and rach have got to be 3 of my favorite people  

jen was too drunk to come into work today,  WOOHOO!!!

i am looking forward to tomorrow and monday...i just need time to breathe...and think, yeah... thinking would be good.